I ate too much chicken, I think. Will you rub my belly, baby?

Episode Fourteen: all that glitters…

As much beef as I have with Hillary Swank playing the lead in P.S. I Love You (in the book, Holly was blond and bubbly), I did like the movie, especially for it’s beautiful Irish scenery and beautiful “Irish” men. One of Gina Gershon’s lines (love, love Gina Gershon – Eva Mendes is like the poor man’s Gina Gershon) is about “grope-free dancing” at a gay club. That is exactly what it is! I never could verbalize why I liked gay clubs so much in college, but that was the reason. No groping, and the guys would tell you how pretty you were and that they loved your outfit.

Anthony’s love interest in this episode is so cute and funny. I think he was in another episode, but I’ll have to check. Yep! He’s the guy Stanford meets in the underwear-only club.

Stanford makes fun of Carrie for wearing Candies. I swear, if it weren’t for this show, I wouldn’t know that things like Candies and scrunchies were verbotten. Or how to pronounce Manolo Blahnik.

Stupid Carrie moment when she mimmicks gay porn music for Aidan. Painful to watch.

Hey buddy, did you just pun in the nude?

Episode Fifteen: change of a dress

The return of Susan Sharon. She’s blond now.

Also returning is J.J., with the same name, from the Season Three opener. He hit on Charlotte, got hit by “gets in fights” guy, then grabbed Carrie’s thigh as he tried to pull himself up. I think he’s funny, but I hate hate hate that Samantha has sex with him and messes things up with Richard.

MPK also commentates on this episode, but I don’t really agree with/care about anything he has to say. It’s the break-up-in-front-of-the-fountain episode, so it’s pretty much down to personal reactions.

These were my baguettes. Because it turned out my husband was a fag-ette, now they're earrings.

Episode Sixteen: ring a ding ding

Oooh, the money between friends conversation. This is hard, because you want to agree with Charlotte, because what she says is more logical, but Carrie wins out in the end, and Charlotte does look like a bitch. Maybe if she had just handled it better.

The whole make-up scene between Carrie and Charlotte (which may be at the same restaurant where Carrie shows her the shoes she bought to bring her face to face with Natasha) is like Charlotte is proposing to Carrie. It seems intentional.

If each of the girls had lent her ten grand each, I would have been happier. This in-debt-to-Charlotte thing doesn’t sit well with me, because by the time the series ends, two years later, you know she hasn’t paid it off. At least, I wouldn’t think so.

There it was: the article I had put my heart and soul into. And it was bleeding.

Episode Seventeen: a ‘vogue’ idea

This was in the running for favorite episode of the season, but I just can’t get past that old dude with his pants around his ankles.

Carrie stores the picture of her and her father in a classic JD Salinger paperback copy of Franny and Zooey. I’ve read that book since Season One, when it first came up, and it turns out the Zooey is a boy (short for Zachary) and Franny is his sister. Really good characters.

Fun Charlotte-is-psycho quote: “It has a white chocolate peanut butter baby inside and YOU CAN EAT THE BABY!”

The whole Manolo Blahnik-Mary Jane scene kind of gets me in my little shoe-loving heart because I’ve been looking for a pair of Mary Janes. It was weird; they came back big time when I was in junior high, but we all got ours at Payless. That’s not going to work this time around.

And I love the choice of Candice Bergen for the Vogue editor, and I love that she keeps coming back on the show (twice? I’m not sure). I remember watching Murphy Brown with my grandmother when I was little; and when I was in college, I would get out of swimming class and take a shower before dinner and watch M.B. reruns on Lifetime while I dried my hair/took a nap. Good times.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Episode Eighteen: i heart ny

So, MPK had to comment on this one because he had to make very clear that he had written this episode, title and all, BEFORE 9/11. It’s kind of obnoxious to hear him say it, but someone has to do it. That kind of thing is so hard: you want people to know that you were not jumping on a band wagon or, worse, exploiting a catastrophe; but to be the one saying it about yourself still sounds like you’re tooting your own horn. “I predicted New York was special BEFORE it was attacked by terrorists! I’m a true I-heart-New Yorker! The rest of you are just posers.”

Otherwise, I really like the commentary because it completely justifies my (poorly-integrated) rant about Breakfast at Tiffany’s in the very first SATC blog entry. “Holly Golightly is a prototype, descendant of Carrie’s,” he says about the decision to use “Moon River.” I feel totally justified. And they itentionally did not reference the movie.

I like that Carrie tells Big that he can’t leave because he’s the Chrysler Building. I’ve always liked the Chrysler Building best.

It’s funny how Charlotte confesses that Monet is one of her favorites, and Bunny detests Monet because he’s “such a sap.”

MPK says they didn’t know if Mr. Big was coming back, and his final appearance on the show could have been riding away in a horse-drawn carriage. No way.

MPK also says something about the doctor “stitching up” Miranda after she’s given birth. Is that standard procedure? Always? I’m really not having kids now.

The leaves in the trees in the final scene were actually green when they filmed this episode, says MPK. They made it look like fall by tinting them, and the falling leaf is animated. It looks really good though.

Season Five

One- I’m posting Seasons Four and Five on the same day because I just now got the use of my internet back. Apparently, I was so desperate to run from the tornadoes that I left the modem plugged in and it got fried. Like hell I was logging on to myspace at work.

Now I can use the internet, but B. can’t talk shit to Korean kids while he plays video games. Actually, this worked out quite well. *Evil Villain laugh*

Two- SJP is on the cover of Vogue, so now I can’t open my copy until after May 30.

Season Five is beyond weird. Michael Patrick King says in the commentary for Episode One that the season was “problematic, interesting, dark and eventually light.” He also calls it “the year we sent the men away,” and if you pay attention, the only time Carrie has sex is with Mr. Big in San Francisco.

The season is only eight episodes long, reportedly because of SJP’s pregnancy, which they spend the season concealing with empire waist dresses. Also, by the final season of the episode (ha! strike that, reverse it), Cynthia Nixon (Miranda) is pregnant as well, which is confusing on a number of levels: she spent half of the fourth season pretending to be pregnant, and winds up really pregnant a year later. She’s noticeably a little heavier at the start of this season (and actually looks really really pretty with some weight on her), so I’m wondering if Cynthia Nixon had to gain weight to give Miranda some baby weight, slowly lose it, then gain it all back for real.

Personally, this is “the lost season,” because I was studying abroad while it was originally airing. I would get some news about plot lines, but spent the semester watching reruns and getting drunk off Bailey’s Minis, the sponsor of the program in Britain.

Also, and this is going to be slightly blasphemous: this is the season where I get annoyed with SJP. I can’t pin point it exactly, especially since she’s pregnant for the whole season and probably went through a lot of personal changes, but I just remember having the feeling that SJP had become way too full of herself, and it was seeping in to the show. Maybe it was because the show had officially become a juggernaut, or SJP had become more comfortable with her role as a producer and was wielding more influence on the direction of the show, but this is the point where I started to dislike her. I’ll point out some specific examples momentarily.

oh, she may be weary/young girls, they do get weary

Episode One: anchors away

This is supposed to be the big “post-9/11” episode, where the healing of New York is dealt with in an unsappy way. Hence, Fleet Week.

The Miranda nursing scene involves some “very expensive” prosthetic boobs, says MPK. It’s kind of disturbing, but there’s a sweet moment when the baby looks up at her.

In fact, we see everyone’s tits in this episode, except for Carrie’s, because SJP won’t do nude scenes. (That was intended to be snide. She has every right to cover herself up, but it’s not fair that the other girls have to bare all. My teeth start grinding right now).

It took me a while to get the joke with Charlotte “new” York and Charlotte “old” York. MPK had to explain it.

When Carrie is at the Guggenheim and the wind is blowing, she does that hoarse little shriek like five times, and it’s really annoying. Yes, this is the beginning of me hating her.

This is not a good economy in which to be whipped cream.

Episode Two: unoriginal sin

I think I will go ahead and call this the favorite episode of the season because of the book deal. Also, the “Carrie quips” at the coffeeshop are delivered more drily and are thus less annoying. I think because Carrie is supposed to be tired in the scene, but maybe SJP had morning sickness in real life.

I love the idea of Carrie dedicating her book to Charlotte, but the dedication itself is kind of ho-hum.

See? That is worth being fat for. I'm sorry, it's just worth it.

Episode Four: cover girl

This whole thing with Carrie judging Samantha for giving Joe Tuesdays & Thursdays a blow job, I think, is symptomatic of what I perceive as a rivalry between SJP and Kim Catrall.

Let me make very clear that I believe the show owes its success as much to Kim Catrall as to SJP. Kim Catrall does all the wacky shit, and SJP won’t take her bra off. People might argue “She can’t go topless, she’s the Heart of the show!” (just like her character in State and Main), but to them I say lots of shows have heart; the reason SATC got the ratings was because of the T & A.

This whole plot line basically says Carrie is better than Samantha and it pisses me off. I’m tempted to believe that the whole thing was orchestrated by SJP to remind Kim Catrall who was the star of the show. That’s how it went down in my head, anyway. “It’s time for ladies my age to cover it up,” she tells her. And Samantha didn’t even judge her when she had the affair with Big – she just said “not my style.”

There’s the whole thing about Kim Catrall holding out on the movie because she wanted the same money as SJP. That’s probably where I’m getting this whole elaborate conspiracy theory.

The guy who plays “Tom Big Boned” was on the radio in Austin last week. He does impressions. His name is Craig Gass.