Episode Twelve: oh come all ye faithful

So we learn in this episode that Carrie writes every Sunday while Mr. Big is taking his mother to church. It makes sense that his mother lives in New York, since he’s supposed to be Mr. Manhattan. Carrie is really bull-headed about meeting his mother, and I don’t blame him for being pissed at her for showing up at church.

The scene where Samantha meets James in the jazz club is supposed to be taken from Kim Catrall’s real life. I think she and that husband are divorced now. I saw this episode in Spanish, and I remember the line “Cuando chupalo…” Now there’s a useful phrase.

The past two episodes have shown a really obnoxious side of Carrie, and it brings to mind an advice column I saw in a teen magazine once. I wish I could remember which one it was, or that I had clipped the column, because it was really significant. A girl had written in and said she had no self-esteem and how could she become more confident? Instead of answering with some fluff about recognizing how great you really are, the agony aunt actually responded that maybe the girl had no reason to be confident. Sort of saying ‘don’t worry about self-confidence, just self-honesty and acceptance.’

That’s what these past two episodes make me think of regarding Carrie and Big. It’s supposed to be about Carrie finding someone to love her for the fabulous person she is, but she’s honestly not that fabulous. Really, if you’re that neurotic, maybe you should just take what you can get? We know they wind up together in the end, but I think they both have a lot of growing up to do, not just him.

He asks her: “what are you trying to do, test me?” and he’s right, that’s exactly what she was doing. If she hadn’t gone to church to spy on him, she wouldn’t have been introduced to his mother as “a friend.” Big talks a lot about timing with her, as in ‘don’t rush me, bitch.’

I’m not saying Big should take the lead in the relationship, but she’s complaining ‘I can’t get inside’ and wanting to be told she’s ‘the one,’ and they’ve been together less than a year. It’s all about ‘finding someone to love me for who I am,’ but if you find yourself acting like a crazy person in front of a guy you really like, shouldn’t you start looking at fixing yourself?

This is season es mucho mas mejor que Season I. The show has more direction and the storylines are woven together more seamlessly. But I’m tired, so here goes:

Episode One: take me out to the ballgame

Carrie rebounds from her relationship with Mr. Big with “Joe,” the new Yankee, up from the minors. The new Yankee is my favorite of all single-episode boyfriends, although he doesn’t talk much. I just like the idea of one New York icon dating another and their photo ending up on Page Six.

Also in this episode we learn that Carrie has been dating for ten years in Manhattan, and that she was there before Big (“If Big had any class, he would have moved away. I was here first”). Wonder where he was before that. Sidenote: Chris Noth’s current picture on imdb.com is disturbing.

Behold, the introduction of the coffee shop, “our Saturday morning ritual.”

Episode Two: the awful truth

“Because sex is not a time to chat. In fact, it’s one of the few instances in my overly articulated, exceedingly verbal life where it is perfectly appropriate, if not preferable, to shut up.”

This episode has Susan Sharon, who actually is a recurring character because she pops up in one other, much later episode. I don’t like her. She bogarts Carrie’s cigarette in their first scene together and I think that’s pretty much a signal that we’re not supposed to like her.

The apple on Carrie’s laptop is upside down when she’s typing on it. It makes me curious about when Apple changed this, because mine is always right-side-up when it’s open. That’s how I know if I’ve got it facing the right way on the table.

Samatha’s boyfriend James is like a human cartoon. I’m guessing he’s supposed to be that way, but I’m glad he’s gone after this episode.

When Big sends Carrie roses for her birthday, she doesn’t pull the card all the way out of the envelope, so we can’t see his name. Watching for things like this is like watching for clues that Bruce Willis is actually dead in the Sixth Sense. How cleverly they avoid using his name!

Episode Three: the freak show

The above quote is my sister’s favorite from the show, but then they ruin it by adding, out of nowhere: “and in the mean time, we always have Manhattan.” I just don’t get the little Manhattan reference at the end. The show is often a love letter to NYC, but in this episode, that was barely a factor. I guess they had to cram it in there somewhere, like the very last line.

I find it hard to believe that Samantha was turned off by the S&M guy’s torture chamber. I would have thought that was right up her alley.

In the bathroom when the girls are talking about Mr. Pussy, Carrie sprays perfume in her hair. I think this is really sexy for girls and I used to do it all the time until I read that it is really damaging for your hair. But so is smoking, and she does that too.

I want to know what used bookstore Carrie and the kleptomaniac are shopping at. Is it the Strand?

Episode Four: they shoot single people, don’t they?

There are certain props from television/movies that I would like to have in my possession, and the New York magazine cover from this episode is one of them (the others are a Beers jersey from Baseketball and the old-timey photo of the three Texas Rangers from Lonesome Dove).

I’m the first to admit that a lot of my personal catch phrases come from this show, but I had no idea they were so heavily concentrated into this one episode:

• Single and Fabulous

• I need a coffee the size of my head

• Well fuck you, exclamation point

• Everyone here is gay, gay, gay

This is also the episode where Carrie tries to quit smoking and she’s eating Hershey Kisses by the pound. I used pistachios, which are probably just as bad.

I’ve been watching for things I’ve never noticed before, and the thing I noticed about this episode is that when Stanford calls Carrie a “little tartini” and leaves her to go home, he walks right past the guy she’s about to leave with, and he turns around and looks at her with his mouth agape. Doesn’t really move the plot forward or anything, but I had never noticed it before.

Also, this episode is kind of elitist, because Carrie’s all appalled that she sees pity in the eyes of the man who sells her her Marlboro Lights, and later, Samantha lets the Pakistani bus boy kiss her, but she won’t go home with him.

Episode Six: the cheating curve

As with the quote above, Samantha is usually very accurate in predicting what will go wrong in her friends’ lives throughout this season. In a weird, practical way, she’s the conscience of the show.

Carrie uses the word “constitues” about four times in this episode, as in the quandry of the episode: “what constitutes cheating?” Something about the way she says it makes me never want to use that word again. It sounds pretentious and idiotic at the same time.

I’m also wondered how she screwed up fondue. I’ve never made it, but isn’t just melted cheese? How can it be horrible?

Apparently, Mr. Big has no friends, just interested parties.

When Miranda sees Carrie doing the walk of shame at 7 a.m. in the wrong (for her) part of town, they actually stop on the street and have a conversation about men and sex. That is just overkill right there.

And who the hell uses a diaphragm? How does it get stuck for 24 hours? If you can’t get it out, can a semi-drunk girlfriend really do it for you? If you handed me one of those things, I would neither a) know what it was, or b) know how to use it. Just sayin.

Episode Seven: the chicken dance

They are doing a new thing with the interviews. Carrie will interview random people saying random things, then the last interview in the segment will be a character from the show, who will answer the question as it pertains to the plot device that got her to ask the question in the first place. Example: a girl named Madeline gets engaged after knowing a guy three weeks, which leads Carrie to ask the question: is there such a thing as love at first sight, and some random guy on the street says something about Carmen Elektra and Dennis Rodman (so, so dated), then Madeline starts talking about what it was like for her. I believe they are trying to make the interviews work in the context of the show before phasing them out completely.

Samantha accidentally sleeps with a guy she forgot she slept with about 15 years prior, and this is an endless source of humor for me. The guy is alternately referred to as a “deja fuck,” a “reunion,” and a “rerun.” I don’t know why this is so funny to me, but it is. Probably because Samantha is drunk for most of this episode as well.

She and Miranda have a nice comic chemistry in this one, such as when Samantha says she’ll be at the bar and Miranda says “say hello to my date.” Then Carrie asks Miranda what she gave the happy couple and she dead pans “the dancing frogs,” (Madeline was Miranda’s interior designer and bought the frogs for Miranda’s house before stealing Miranda’s man) and Samantha does that whole floozy laugh.

Episode Nine: old dogs, new dicks

I don’t know how, but I forgot about this episode. Carrie punches Big in the face! How I forgot that, I don’t know, but I had to rewind it twice, I was laughing so hard.

Of course, “physical violence is never the answer,” as Mr. Big says, so I’m kind of shocked that it’s worked into the show. I guess they be keepin it real, or something.

This is the first time I’ve noticed the “Carrie” necklace, which will be with us until the very last episode. Must watch for it in the movie.

I love Steve even more in this episode, because he and Miranda split up, then she’s lying awake at 2 a.m. and he calls to tell her about the blue moon. It’s like, you have a fight with someone, and you’re up thinking about it at some ridiculous hour and you want to talk to them but you don’t know if they’re awake/with someone else/still pissed at you. Just perfect timing. Completely inappropriate and risky on his part, but perfect.