You know when I first moved to New York and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Vogue instead of dinner – I just felt it fed me more.

Episode Two: the real me

Hi kids! This week, we’re going to learn about confidence: Samantha getting a nude portrait of herself, Charlotte’s vagina being depressed because she tells it it’s ugly (“What, it can’t meet its deadline?” “It always wants to go to Krispy Kreme.”) and both Carrie and Miranda getting built up only to have the rug pulled out from under them.

This is the fashion show episode. The first time I saw it, I knew they were going to have her trip on the runway (foreshadowing: the line about feeling very comfortable in “big girl shoes,” asking Stanford to bring her another champagne), but when they got her all dolled up, I thought there was no way they would let her fall because she looked so good. And I was wrong. SJP does a really good job of acting embarrassed, crow’s feet and all.

The Kiss and Tell book actually came in handy for this episode, because it’s got a frame-by-frame of the tumble, and you can see where the toe strap of her shoe has come loose and the entire shoe is actually dangling from the ankle strap. I never would have noticed that otherwise.

The guest stars in this one are abundant and fantastic:

• Margaret Cho (“I use the term ‘boyfriend’ loosely, as Damien is clearly a homosexual”)

• Alan Cumming (“It’s a fashion house of cards, love,” and, of course, “Me likey!”)

• Heidi Klum (okay, bitch just walks over Carrie when she’s lying on the runway, prompting Stanford to scream “Oh my God she’s fashion roadkill!” Then SJP and the Klum hi-five like they’re best buddies.)

• Kevyn Aucoin (I knew two people that had his book Making Faces, right around the time he died. This excerpt from the intro somewhat explains his voice, but not entirely (it’s really strange):”…trying to conceal the fact that I was a gay, effeminate, hyperactive, adopted child with a serious lisp in southern Louisiana would have been like trying to hide Dolly Parton in a string bikini!”)

• Orlando Pita (hairstylist. I have no idea who this is, but apparently he’s a famous hairstylist.)

• Edward I. Koch (no clue who this is either, but he gets lots of applause when he hits the runway. Ah! Wait. I wikied him and he’s an ex-mayor of New York.)

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