smith

Why did I have to get up on my sassy horse?

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Episode Four: pick-a-little, talk-a-little

Oh dear God. This is the “he’s just not that into you” episode. Boo. Hiss.

I didn’t think it was clever the first time around, and if I had known that the writer of this episode was going to write a book with that line as the title, I would have hated it more. No! Bad writer. But this guy obviously thinks he’s on to something clever, and now he’s being validated by Hollywood because they’re making this shit into a movie. Groan.

And about that sassy horse…this is the worst of the worst annoying SJP episodes. When Berger first says that line to Miranda, Carrie squeals. Then she tells Berger about the “scccccu-rrrrunch-eee.” Then she has to butter him up by saying how much she loved to book, referring to the “lampposts…landmarks…mileposts.” And she’s supposed to be a writer?

And finally, there’s the hat, which Berger insults and she retorts “it’s fabulous,” yet she takes the damn thing off. Wonder if the London premiere hat was a nod to this episode, when someone finally calls Carrie on her bullshit fashion.

I’m on a hater roll, so here’s some Charlottey goodness: “I gave up Christ for you,” “Set the date! Set the date!” and “Do you know how lucky you are to have me?”

On the plus side: You can barely hear it, but Smith tells Samantha he was “fucked up for like eight years in Seattle.” Oooh, a Kurt Cobain backstory to go with the Kurt Cobain hair. Seriously, I know Smith is on the show to give viewers my age a little eye-candy, but this guy is so hot that he’s painful to look at.

I'll give you $100 if you say something bitchy about someone we know.

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Episode One: let there be light

The theme is that Carrie is light and the Russian is darkness, as evidenced by the chocolates he pulls out of his pocket. Honestly, I thought that image was more Alice in Wonderland – one side makes you larger, the other makes you small. Also lots of looking glasses in this episode.

Miranda asks Steve “why did I have to shit where I eat?” which is nice because I was trying to remember how that phrase went the other day: there were a bunch of high school girls bumpin-n-grindin at the local watering hole last weekend. I was trying to tell a friend about it, saying “go down to sixth street to do that in front of a bunch of anonymous people; don’t shit where you sleep.” So I guess I was off by one word.

Then Miranda goes on to tell Steve what Robert said about “going deep,” which is a stupid thing to repeat to your current boyfriend. I’m surprised it just rolled off his back. MPK says they tried to show in this episode how Steve and Miranda are partners in crime, and I like that definition of a relationship.

Charlotte’s Burberry sleep mask was special-made for the show, says MPK. I actually don’t hate her in this episode.

Heartbreaking moment with Samantha and Smith. If Richard had a theme song, it would be “You’re so Vain.”

Chanel-lo!

/ Mandy / Leave a comment

Episode Eight: an american girl in paris (part deux)

I’m writing about these last two episodes in real time because I watched them one time through without writing anything down, and now I’ve got two screens open on my desktop and I’m typing while watching and now I’m wishing I had been doing this all along. Damn.

Smith’s hair looks stupid after he dyes it.

Ah, the return of the cigarettes. She’s even eating at the patissier and smoking between bites. MPK says the giant dog smelled like a barn.

I’m guessing the tourist that’s filming her from the boat is …swedish?

aww, she sees her book in the shop. Too bad she completely screws those people over. I hate that.

Oh, the couple from Charlotte. Why would Charlotte and Harry serve them lox? That’s not really a very democratic offering, especially knowing that they’re hillbillies. “Is that the fish?” B just told me “lox” is also a rap group out of NYC that includes DMX and Eve.

My sister tells me that I really liked the french rap song (DJ Solar) that’s playing in the background while Carrie is running around Paris and Miranda is running around Brooklyn. I don’t remember saying that, but I’m proud of myself if I did.

Magda gets prettier in every episode. I hope I look like her when I’m old.

I love that when Big finally finds Carrie, she’s squatting in her nouveau-tutu looking for diamonds.

She says “this is so surreal.” I hate that word, ever since a fellow bookstore employee described our work environment as surreal. Fatuous statement, here and then.

Ah, Big’s name. That was my achilles heel. I didn’t like Big, but in arguing with a Big proponent, I conceded that Carrie was allowed to end up with Big IF we learned his real name. And we did, so she did.

“And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” Okay, I get it now.