Methinks someone is a little jelly.

Episode Five: plus one is the loneliest number

I always got the two of hearts joke, but I never caught on that it was the jack of hearts (for Jack Berger) that she saw on the sidewalk outside Gray’s Papaya. The only way I knew that it was Gray’s Papaya was because of the reflection on the limo windows.

Costume designer Pat Field makes a cameo at Carrie’s book party. Isaac Mizrahi’s cameo is kind of lame, especially since he had to say his own name, so people would know who he was.

I also didn’t catch the gag where Samantha is reminded that she has to verbally tell people “I am so angry” after she’s been Botoxed, and then Enid (Candice Bergen) says exactly that when she sees her boyfriend at Carrie’s party. MPK pointed that out.

…because I was a sex columnist, I was resourceful, and I was drunkity-drunk-drunk.

Episode Two: great sexpectations

Ah, Berger. MPK is saying in his commentary that Berger was brought on the show because they wanted to put Carrie with someone like her – a wry writer. Ha.

Apparently the sales girl in La Perla got that part because she was such a huge fan of the show.

Okay, I always realized there were some similarities between my two favorite TV heroines, Carrie Bradshaw and Veronica Mars (“annoy, tiny blond one, annoy like the wind”). But this episode, for some reason, I almost forgot what show I was watching because SJP resembled Kristen Bell so closely. I don’t know what it was, maybe the side ponytail.

MPK says that Carrie hitting Berger in the face with her furry shoe was not scripted, but Ron Livingston just played it out. Nice.

Why did I have to get up on my sassy horse?

Episode Four: pick-a-little, talk-a-little

Oh dear God. This is the “he’s just not that into you” episode. Boo. Hiss.

I didn’t think it was clever the first time around, and if I had known that the writer of this episode was going to write a book with that line as the title, I would have hated it more. No! Bad writer. But this guy obviously thinks he’s on to something clever, and now he’s being validated by Hollywood because they’re making this shit into a movie. Groan.

And about that sassy horse…this is the worst of the worst annoying SJP episodes. When Berger first says that line to Miranda, Carrie squeals. Then she tells Berger about the “scccccu-rrrrunch-eee.” Then she has to butter him up by saying how much she loved to book, referring to the “lampposts…landmarks…mileposts.” And she’s supposed to be a writer?

And finally, there’s the hat, which Berger insults and she retorts “it’s fabulous,” yet she takes the damn thing off. Wonder if the London premiere hat was a nod to this episode, when someone finally calls Carrie on her bullshit fashion.

I’m on a hater roll, so here’s some Charlottey goodness: “I gave up Christ for you,” “Set the date! Set the date!” and “Do you know how lucky you are to have me?”

On the plus side: You can barely hear it, but Smith tells Samantha he was “fucked up for like eight years in Seattle.” Oooh, a Kurt Cobain backstory to go with the Kurt Cobain hair. Seriously, I know Smith is on the show to give viewers my age a little eye-candy, but this guy is so hot that he’s painful to look at.

I can't keep working like this. I'm going to have to cut way back…to 50 hours a week. 55 tops.

Episode Six: hop, skip and a week

This is the “Berger leaves Carrie with a post-it” episode. I’m annoyed because I don’t think the Berger arc was ever resolved. If they’re so much alike, then shouldn’t there be more soul-searching on Carrie’s part? Instead, it’s all just about what he does wrong. Maybe he was in the show to demonstrate how perfect Carrie has become and now she just needs to find the perfect man. I don’t know, but they didn’t do justice to Office Space guy.