Episode Four: pick-a-little, talk-a-little

Oh dear God. This is the “he’s just not that into you” episode. Boo. Hiss.

I didn’t think it was clever the first time around, and if I had known that the writer of this episode was going to write a book with that line as the title, I would have hated it more. No! Bad writer. But this guy obviously thinks he’s on to something clever, and now he’s being validated by Hollywood because they’re making this shit into a movie. Groan.

And about that sassy horse…this is the worst of the worst annoying SJP episodes. When Berger first says that line to Miranda, Carrie squeals. Then she tells Berger about the “scccccu-rrrrunch-eee.” Then she has to butter him up by saying how much she loved to book, referring to the “lampposts…landmarks…mileposts.” And she’s supposed to be a writer?

And finally, there’s the hat, which Berger insults and she retorts “it’s fabulous,” yet she takes the damn thing off. Wonder if the London premiere hat was a nod to this episode, when someone finally calls Carrie on her bullshit fashion.

I’m on a hater roll, so here’s some Charlottey goodness: “I gave up Christ for you,” “Set the date! Set the date!” and “Do you know how lucky you are to have me?”

On the plus side: You can barely hear it, but Smith tells Samantha he was “fucked up for like eight years in Seattle.” Oooh, a Kurt Cobain backstory to go with the Kurt Cobain hair. Seriously, I know Smith is on the show to give viewers my age a little eye-candy, but this guy is so hot that he’s painful to look at.