This is not a good economy in which to be whipped cream.

Episode Two: unoriginal sin

I think I will go ahead and call this the favorite episode of the season because of the book deal. Also, the “Carrie quips” at the coffeeshop are delivered more drily and are thus less annoying. I think because Carrie is supposed to be tired in the scene, but maybe SJP had morning sickness in real life.

I love the idea of Carrie dedicating her book to Charlotte, but the dedication itself is kind of ho-hum.

See? That is worth being fat for. I'm sorry, it's just worth it.

Episode Four: cover girl

This whole thing with Carrie judging Samantha for giving Joe Tuesdays & Thursdays a blow job, I think, is symptomatic of what I perceive as a rivalry between SJP and Kim Catrall.

Let me make very clear that I believe the show owes its success as much to Kim Catrall as to SJP. Kim Catrall does all the wacky shit, and SJP won’t take her bra off. People might argue “She can’t go topless, she’s the Heart of the show!” (just like her character in State and Main), but to them I say lots of shows have heart; the reason SATC got the ratings was because of the T & A.

This whole plot line basically says Carrie is better than Samantha and it pisses me off. I’m tempted to believe that the whole thing was orchestrated by SJP to remind Kim Catrall who was the star of the show. That’s how it went down in my head, anyway. “It’s time for ladies my age to cover it up,” she tells her. And Samantha didn’t even judge her when she had the affair with Big – she just said “not my style.”

There’s the whole thing about Kim Catrall holding out on the movie because she wanted the same money as SJP. That’s probably where I’m getting this whole elaborate conspiracy theory.

The guy who plays “Tom Big Boned” was on the radio in Austin last week. He does impressions. His name is Craig Gass.

Methinks someone is a little jelly.

Episode Five: plus one is the loneliest number

I always got the two of hearts joke, but I never caught on that it was the jack of hearts (for Jack Berger) that she saw on the sidewalk outside Gray’s Papaya. The only way I knew that it was Gray’s Papaya was because of the reflection on the limo windows.

Costume designer Pat Field makes a cameo at Carrie’s book party. Isaac Mizrahi’s cameo is kind of lame, especially since he had to say his own name, so people would know who he was.

I also didn’t catch the gag where Samantha is reminded that she has to verbally tell people “I am so angry” after she’s been Botoxed, and then Enid (Candice Bergen) says exactly that when she sees her boyfriend at Carrie’s party. MPK pointed that out.

…and don't call boys.

Episode Six: critical condition

This is the episode with Nina Katz, the face girl. She’s a total bitch, but Carrie shouldn’t feel threatened because she says dumb things like “I am starvation central.”

I love that Miranda and Samantha both scream at Carrie because they don’t have time to listen to her whine, and then Stanford tells her how selfish she is. Ha.

Yes, I have a question: this Mister Big character, does he have a real name?

Episode Seven: the big journey

I don’t know if it was just me (and my hangover), but the four girls all look really ugly in this episode. And then S and C get on the train and complain about how ugly everybody in real America is.

They probably sent Samantha to SanFran alone with Carrie so the two actresses could work out their issues while filming together. That’s what I say, any way.

Carrie has her laptop set up on a different desk in this episode. It’s in front of a mirror that I had never noticed before until they did a close up of it earlier this season, so I’m thinking it’s a new prop for Carrie’s apartment that they were really proud of.

Carrie tells Mr. Big “What happened in New York was all my fault – I didn’t read the signs.” Well, there’s the first three seasons of the show explained away, easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

This party is going to be fantastic, strictly A-list. — Are we still invited? — Yes, but Shitty Pants there is not.

Episode Eight: i love a charade

HATE the zsa zsa zsu. It’s such a stupid thing to say, then MPK has the audacity to commentate that everyone loved that phrase and he even saw it in a couple of articles. Bull shit.

He also mentions that the Carrie necklace disappears and reappears in very significant and symbolic ways. This episode is the first time she wears it all season, and it’s supposed to mean that she’s back in touch with her identity.

Turns out the theme for costuming the wedding scene is the Great Gatsby, which I didn’t catch and I love that book. Oh, wait. Maybe they mean the movie. Hate the movie.

Smile, gorgeous.

Without further ado, I give you Season 6.0…

Hey, guess what. Jezebel/Gawker has a blog going about Sex and the City. It’s called “Living ViCarrieously,” and this girl is watching 36 straight hours of Sex and the City. Or rather, she’s finished now, but I can’t seem to find any postings beyond Season Three (I was so hungry for validation, I hallucinated a blog).

There’s also a link to a NYTimes article about a 27-year-old who believes she is the reincarnation of Carrie Bradshaw. But she can’t afford Manolos so she wears Steve Maddens — this is as bad as Candies, no? There’s some talk about the same “young girl in Manhattan” myth as well as discussion of a novel by Edith Wharton.

Because she idolizes Candice Bushnell and USES THE SHOW AS A ROAD MAP FOR HER OWN LIFE, this girl is what’s known as a “Scary Sadshaw,” to high-jack the term from Jezebel/Gawker folks.

I had to stop reading Gawker in recent months because they had almost daily posts about the SATC movie, and I can’t have that. But I’m really glad I happened to tune in and find the ViCarrieously stuff. It makes me feel not-crazy.

Still not sure what my plans are for the movie. I know I’m going to see it a second time, alone, on Sunday night as close to 8 p.m. as I can find a showing, and I’m going to bring a pen and my little notebook (yep, I’m a geek). But as for premiere watching, I’m torn. There is an 11:55 p.m. showing at the Drafthouse on Thursday, which would make me one of the first “real” people to see it. If you order a Cosmopolitan, which of course I will, you get to keep the novelty glass, and since I just broke my Jack Daniels tumbler by plunging it into a block of congealed ice cubes, the glassware would be nice. However, I do have a job to be at the next morning, and a midnight showing in Austin would put me in bed at 4 a.m. And then it’s like, why bother going to sleep at all?

I had planned to have watched Season Six in it’s entirety by now, but life gets in the way. So I’ll watch the second half of the season (eight episodes that aired separately) this week before the movie comes out. I may even do it marathon style, as an ode to Gawker.

My conservative doesn't have anything to do with wearing pearls.

Episode One: to market, to market

The whole Charlotte becoming a Jew theme…SJP tells people that she and Matthew Broderick are “culturally Jewish.” Huh? Can I be culturally agnostic? That seems convenient; I believe in God, but I don’t want to follow any commandments.

Oh, the Aidan with a baby thing. This is sort of like that moment with Miranda when Steve asks her if she got the invitation. It just sucks the wind right out of you.

The thing is, there’s such a role reversal going on here. Imagine Carrie running into Aidan if she were heavily pregnant and had that whole with-child glow. I bet that stirs up some sort of primal anger in the male of the species — if our purpose is to propagate, then it must have really pissed off the cave men to see a former mate carrying another male’s child. Maybe?

But it’s Aidan, and he’s got the baby in a pouch. And when Carrie walks up, the baby squeals and looks really happy to be part of the hug. Or maybe that was because SJP was still a lactating female at that point?

Okay, this posting is turning into Sex Ed 101, so I’m going to move on.

…because I was a sex columnist, I was resourceful, and I was drunkity-drunk-drunk.

Episode Two: great sexpectations

Ah, Berger. MPK is saying in his commentary that Berger was brought on the show because they wanted to put Carrie with someone like her – a wry writer. Ha.

Apparently the sales girl in La Perla got that part because she was such a huge fan of the show.

Okay, I always realized there were some similarities between my two favorite TV heroines, Carrie Bradshaw and Veronica Mars (“annoy, tiny blond one, annoy like the wind”). But this episode, for some reason, I almost forgot what show I was watching because SJP resembled Kristen Bell so closely. I don’t know what it was, maybe the side ponytail.

MPK says that Carrie hitting Berger in the face with her furry shoe was not scripted, but Ron Livingston just played it out. Nice.